The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe (Illustrated)

JOE'S GRAND DISCOVERY.

Hal sat trotting Dot on his knee,—poor little weazen-faced Dot, who was just getting over the dregs of the measles, and cross accordingly. By way of accompaniment he sang all the Mother Goose melodies that he could remember. At last he came to,—

""There was an old woman who lived in a shoe:
She had so many children she didn't know what to do;
To some she gave broth without any bread,""—
and Harry stopped to catch his breath, for the trotting was of the vigorous order.

""And a thrashing all round, and sent them to bed!""
finished Joe, thrusting his shaggy head in at the window after the fashion of a great Newfoundland dog.

[8]

Dot answered with a piteous cry,—a sort of prolonged wail, heart-rending indeed.

""Serve you right,"" said Joe, going through an imaginary performance with remarkably forcible gestures.

""For shame, Joe! You were little once yourself, and I dare say cried when you were sick. I always thought it very cruel, that, after being deprived of their supper, they should be""—

""Thrashed! Give us good strong Saxon for once, Flossy!""

Flossy was of the ambitious, correct, and sentimental order. She had lovely light curls, and soft white hands when she did not have to work too hard, which she never did of her own free will. She thought it dreadful to be so poor, and aspired to a rather aristocratic ladyhood.

""I am sorry you were not among them,"" she replied indignantly. ""You're a hard-hearted, cruel boy!""

""When the thrashings went round? You're a c-r-u-e-l girl!"" with a prodigious length of accent. ""Why, I get plenty of 'em at school.""

""'Trot, trot, trot. There was an old woman'—what are you laughing at, Joe?"" and Hal turned red in the face.

""I've just made a brilliant discovery. O my poor buttons! remember Flossy's hard labor and many troubles, and do not bust! Why, we're the very children!""

[9]

At this, Joe gave a sudden lurch: you saw his head, and then you saw his heels, and the patch on the knee of his trousers, ripped partly off by an unlucky nail, flapped in the breeze; and he was seated on the window-sill right side up with care, drumming both bare heels into the broken wall. He gave a prolonged whistle of satisfaction, made big eyes at Dot, and then said again,—

""Yes, we are the very children!""

""What children? Joe, you are the noisiest boy in Christendom!""

""Flossy, the old woman who lived in a shoe is Granny, and no mistake! I can prove it logically. Look at this old tumble-down rookery: it is just the shape of a huge shoe, sloping gradually to the toe, which is the shed-end here. It's brown and rusty and cracked and patched: it wants heeling and toeing, and to be half-soled, greased to keep the water out, and blacked to make it shine. It was a famous seven-leaguer in its day; but, when it had lost its virtue, the giant who used to wear it kicked it off by the roadside, little dreaming that it would be transformed into a cabin for the aforesaid old woman. And here we all are sure enough! Sometimes we get broth, and sometimes we don't.""

Dot looked up in amazement at this harangue, and thrust her thumbs in her mouth. Hal laughed out-right,—a soft little sound like the rippling of falling water.

[10]

""Yes, a grand discovery! Ladies and gentlemen of the nineteenth century, I rise to get up, to speak what I am about to say; and I hope you will treasure the words of priceless wisdom that fall from my lips. I'm not backward about coming forward""—

Joe was balancing himself very nicely, and making tremendous flourishes, when two brown, dimpled hands scrubbed up the shock of curly hair, and the sudden onslaught destroyed his equilibrium, as Flossy would have said, and down he went on the floor in crab fashion, looking as if he were all arms and legs.

""Charlie, you midget! just wait till I catch you. I haven't the broth, but the other thing will do as well.""

But Charlie was on the outside; and her little brown, bare feet were as fleet as a deer's. Joe saw her skimming over the meadow; but the afternoon was very warm, and a dozen yards satisfied him for a race, so he turned about.

""Joe, you might take Dot a little while, I think,"" said Hal beseechingly, as Joe braced himself against the door-post. ""I've held her all the afternoon.""

""She won't come—will you, Dot?""

But Dot signified her gratification by stretching out her hands. Joe was a good-natured fellow; and, though he might have refused Hal easily, he couldn't resist Dot's tender appeal, so he took her on his shoulder and began trotting off to Danbury Cross. Dot [11]laughed out of her sleepy eyes, highly delighted at this change in the programme.