Are You There, Xenu? It's Me, Nathan.

Google “Scientology,” and you’ll find of books vilifying or lionizing the practice. Former members, current members, investigative reporters; many people have their hat in the “I am an expert on this subject!” ring.

Nathan Timmel is no expert; he’s just a man who has had a couple brushes with the practice and wanted to share his tale.

In 1991—with no Internet available to quickly look up the practice made famous by Tom Cruise and John Travolta—a person needed hands on experiences to determine whether or not a religion was for them. Nathan and a couple of his college friends took personality tests, listened to the sales pitch, and went on their merry ways.

Years later, in an unofficial follow up to that initial salvo with Scientology, Nathan had the opportunity to fart around with an E-Meter.

Both tales are covered quickly in this 4,000-word essay.

Maybe you’re here because you’ve enjoyed one of Nathan’s previous works; maybe this is your first sojourn through his world.

Hopefully it means you’ll download another.