Don't Be Gentle; I'm Not Used to It

Caveat Lector! The book before you contains more sticky steamy stuff per square inch than a communal sleeping-mattress in a teenage nudist colony. (It's not a Rube Goldberg operation here). This is a compendium of one-liners; instances of premium wit that get your heart pumping like a sphygmomanometer bulb in the hands of a jumped-up jackhammer-operator. Naturally, they're illustrated, because life is a multimedia event. And everything is true that isn't false. So, if you see me someday, in the street, with friends or alone, and you find it in your heart to say hi, remember...don't be gentle; I'm not used to it.