Tales From a Church Tea Room No3 'My' Project

Well, I had been going to a church tea room just for the heaven of it, and ended up going one day when the ‘customers’ were all in a meeting of AGE UK.
A year or so before, my mother who was 85 had refused to go to the organisation because she said the people were those who used to bow and scrape to her because she had what she reckoned was the best most prestigious job in the town in which she lived ... up North. She had died since and now her angry spirit hovered in the air before me ordering me out of the room, as no son of hers should be amongst this rabble. I threw some water at her and luckily as it was a church hall and at least partially blessed, it had the same effect on her as the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz and she disappeared into the floor screaming curses at me. Free from my tormentor, I thought I’d pop along few times and see what it was like, so I joined the group the following week. I ended up in this ‘part 3’ being put under pressure to do a ‘project’ ... as I was always gassing on about being creative etc.
I had no clue and so asked the Universe for help and found the answer was the ideal thing for me to do to add some fizz to the blood of the old people (with my syringe of liquid Co2); you have to be 55 or over to join and I was a still being breastfed 55 while the rest were 85 – 105. I visualised my project in my head and then looked around at the characters and, I’m pleased to say, they were as perfect for the project as the project was for them.
A few of them displayed their letter from the Queen on their T shirts, while other shirts advertised such things as pre-embalming fluid in five fruit flavours etc ... the company was called ‘Contains Preservatives’ which was also written on the shirts. Part of the advertising blurb said: There is a 0.0005% chance you may become a zombie or be resurrected with the good guys, so we would like you to enjoy it if the opportunity arises. If you have turned to goo, you cannot enjoy being a zombie or a good guy and why should all your friends who drank Contains Preservatives Pre-Embalm have all the fun? Contains Preservatives Pre-Embalm fluid only costs £1.550.99 per half litre and £1.500.99 if you buy two bottles. If you don’t drink it, your family will get the cash (do you think they deserve it?).