Gravy In The Pie

Carl Jr. and Bubba Gene were kissing cousins at age10 and got into serious trouble with their fundamentalist parents. So much so that Bubba Gene's family uprooted from Austin, Texas to The Arkansas Ozarks to keep the boys apart. Only wise old Grannies saw through the hoopla and in their wills they left the grandsons valuable property and a prized pie recipe, much to the ever-developing scorn of sibling rivals. In 2015, the cousins now live together and the story begins with Bubba Gene directing "The Farewell Interview." Because church-goers have forced local boyfriends to marry-off and raise Bible-toting children, Carl Jr. is leaving the USA to pursue an internet marriage proposal in Ireland.

The online connection turns out to be a leprechaun, and upon return to Texas there is a big birthday party for Carl Jr. and his Sister's preacher husband. Bubba Jeanie performs a commendable drag show twerking the tap on the beer keg, and our heroes rile the redneck kinfolk and stumble upon a mystery surrounding the Blue Ribbon pie recipe that only Carl Jr. possesses. They are soon sidetracked from routines of sipping dry martinis and organizing homemade porn featuring Bible belt hypocrites unbuckling and dropping pants. Seeking to recreate Granny's award winning pie and make a fortune, they place everything else on hold and embark on a journey of discovery into the hillbilly hollows to solve the baking riddle of the recipe.

There they rely on Bubba Gene's Sis, who is at her wits' end with distress because her 14-year-old son Randi says he is "transgender" and she does not know what the term means. She does understand her son is constantly bullied and harassed by the rednecks and has no positive future in the backwoods of Arkansas, so Carl Jr. and Bubba Gene offer her the pie business. Our champions remember all the crap they went through growing up and know there are now protective programs and resources for LGBTQ students in Austin schools, so they hatch a plan to move their kin to civilization before gossip spreads about the rescue mission. Of course word gets out among the hillbillies and there are a few amusing snags along the way because the brave pair are not afraid to order foo-foo cocktails at a beer joint ice house in Scaryton, Arkansas. Rumors soon fly that Randi's germs may destroy the Ozark's water supply but our stars keep their chins up and maintain a sense of humor. Once Randi and his supportive mother make the move to Austin he hooks up with a friend, and they are set to enter high school together in the fall while the new business prepares to launch. At "The Independence Day Showdown at the Hoedown" with fundie hillbilly clans and the preacher man's congregation all present and accounted for, the Blue Ribbon award winning pecan pie has been prepared properly for the first time since Granny's passing. Squabbling siblings raise a ruckus since they get no slice of the profits, and the church-going crowd is bewildered that the sinful queers could have unraveled the mystifying recipe and turned it into a huge money-making outfit. The young transgender couple makes a splash in the pool and everything is revealed so the chips fall where they must.

When a Bible-toting leader approaches to save souls, Randi's Dachshund fends her off by letting out an array of howling that frightens the old biddy like holding up a cross to a vampire. On Independence Day some find liberation while others are ready to head back to the hills or local churches with their Bibles, but Carl Jr. and Bubba Gene make sure nobody leaves the hoedown without a piece of pie. At the end of the day our heroes agree they will never refuse service to any paying customers at their Gravy in the Pie Company, and they graciously offer that advice as a recipe in itself.