Let's Play Doctor (Abridged)

Let's Play Doctor is your instant guide to becoming a Real Fake Doctor. At the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine, we offer an informative, immersive, and incredibly entertaining course of study that will give you the special skills needed to get your M.D. on! By following the lessons in Let's Play Doctor, you'll learn:

• Special mental exercises to give yourself that buff, bulging Doctor brain
• How to impress your peers with big, polysyllabic, esoteric medical lingo (can you say pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis?)
• Easy ways to diagnose your girlfriend's goiter or your father's fistula
• Do-it-yourself surgeries from hemorrhoidectomy to breast enlargement
• And, most important, how to craft a completely believable, official-sounding get-out-of-work-for-medical-reasons note