Earth Inherited: A Short Tale of Planetary Plague & Astronomical Affliction

Nothing sets the tone for the day like learning your home planet has just changed ownership.

Today is a day like any other on Earth. People wake and work. Minds plug into electronic devices. Social networks spark with spontaneous brain sputterings. A woman primps. A man scratches his balls. Humans relate, congregate, procreate.

And news anchors across the globe offer an ounce of vital information for every pound of mind-numbing nonsense...

Then, the figurative bomb hits. Screens are ablaze, and radio is abuzz with a news flash like no other:

Earth has been inherited. The planet has a new owner.

And he's not happy to find his endowment overrun by a planetary pestilence.

Earth gets its wakeup call. How would you answer it?