How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives-without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness-one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.



This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:

• How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?


• When is forgiveness cheap?


• What is wrong with refusing to forgive?


• How can the offender earn forgiveness?


• How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?