Third Rock from the Sun: The Official Report on Earth by High Commander Dick Solomon

The book you are reading about is the esteemed High Commander's report of the exploration of the planet Earth, the Third Rock from the Sun. It is a highly classified document and is not for public consumption. It is for the Big Giant Eyes of the Big Giant Head only. If you are reading this, you are breaking interplanetary laws. Quit your browser right now. If someone in a bookstore -- say, a salesperson or clerk -- tries to sell you this journal, do not buy it. However, if you insist on buying it, why not get one for a friend? They make excellent gifts.