The Dangerous Bride: A Memoir of Love, Gods and Geography

What do you do when your husband claims to be madly in love with you, but doesn’t desire you sexually? When your therapist is more interested in opening an online sex-toy shop with your husband than in saving your marriage? Do you try yet another counselor, get divorced, or settle for a sexless marriage? Lee Kofman, rebellious daughter of ultra-orthodox Jews, has always sought her own way. True to her Bohemian dream where love can coexist with sexual freedom, she decided to experiment with an open marriage—despite the fact that her previous nonmonogamous relationship ended in disaster. Cultural mores suggest that love without monogamy is impossible, but Lee hoped she could do better the second time around and embarked on a personal exploration to find out whether she could save her marriage while being nonmonogamous in an ethical way. For several months she talked to swingers, polyamorists, cross-dressers, suburban families, artists, and migrants—in short, anyone who may have ever been involved in an unconventional relationship. Set during Lee’s first years in Australia, it is also the story of migration, and an exploration of the eternal conflict between our desire for security, but also for foreign places, in love and elsewhere. The Dangerous Bride tells the story of her quest.