The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development

In The Parents We Mean to Be, Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd argues incisively that parents-not peers, not television-are the primary shapers of their children's moral lives. His original field research reveals surprising, real threats to children's moral and emotional development. Parents' intense focus on children's happiness and parental obsession with achievement has eroded their influence as moral mentors. The widespread desire of parents to be closer to their children-a wonderful trend in many respects-can also imperil children's moral growth.

Weissbourd highlights inspiring parents, teachers, and coaches, as well as concrete strategies for raising moral, happy children. He makes the case that our primary focus as adults should be not on children's happiness but on their ability to manage destructive impulses and to appreciate and take responsibility for others-qualities that are at the heart of morality and lasting well-being.