You Are Not Dead: A Guide to Modern Living

Troubled by life? Tired of death? Uncertain about uncertainty and what to do with your money? Join other selves like yourself on a journey of discovery with You Are Not Dead: A Guide to Modern Living (the Canadian Edition).

This self-management program from the Fakeproject Corporation has you nailed. With masterful, full-color illustrations and artful instructions, eleven easy steps provide the guidance you need with the candor you deserve. Learn to recognize and stabilize your worthless parts. Quarantine and kill the unquestionably contemptible. Confront and counteract the dreams and dangerous notions that prevent you from fulfilling our goals.

From personal attacks with a global reach to birthday parties and carpet bombings, everyone lives with the Fakeproject Corporation. We invite you to not die with us. Get bent into shape! Get by instead! Get out of life... alive?--not dead!

With everything to soothe, you have only loss to lose. You deserve to feel all right.