Conversations with the Wise Aunt: The Secret to Being Strong as a Teenager and Preparing for Success as an Adult

The idea for Conversations with the Wise Aunt was inspired by a story Dr. Coates's best friend told him. When his friend was 12, his uncle took him out for breakfast and told him what to expect during his teen years. He described the physical changes. He talked about peer pressure, risk-taking behavior and the consequences of sex, drugs and alcohol. Afterward, his uncle said, "Now I want you to promise me something. When your friends want you to go along with them and something inside you doesn't feel right, I want you to stop and think about what could happen. I want you to remember the things we talked about. Will you do that?"

His friend said this talk with this caring adult was the most important conversation of his life, that it helped him steer clear of all kinds of trouble during his teen years.

The authors' research confirms that few adults received such a talk when they were young, and today it's still rare for parents to do a good job of coaching their teens about what to expect. Since most parents didn't get this kind of coaching themselves, they don't have a model for how to approach it. There's a lot of ground to cover, and teens these days face different challenges. Most parents just don't feel prepared to give the best advice.

The authors wrote this book for teen girls to give them the benefit of an even richer "heads-up" mentoring than his friend received. It's a series of upbeat, engaging stories about Trisha and her aunt Maria, who guides her during adolescence. It features not one, but several conversations.

The book can be used as a template for parents to prepare for discussions with their teen daughter, or they can give the book to her to supplement the discussions. All the topics are critical, and some of them are addressed nowhere else. Taken together, the insights can give a teen girl a significant edge as she prepares for a happy, successful life as an adult.