All Hat, No Horse: Cowboy Humor

Howdy pard’ner! You might think us cowboys to be serious folk, but after a hard day’s work there ain’t nothin’ better than relaxin’ by the fire with a sarsaparilla and havin’ a good laugh. And believe me when I tell you a cowboy could tell you a million stories that would have you splitting your sides. I took some time to scribble some of them jokes down for y’all, and I hope you enjoy them. Some of ’em are even true!

Like the time this young whipper snapper was twirlin’ his gun about and

flappin’ his chin about how tough he was and that if that famous outlaw

was right beside him now he would shoot him dead between the eyes.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, that tough, old outlaw happened to show up,

and that little greenhorn dang near peed his pants.

If you like that, I got way more fer ya!

If ’n there’s one thing we cowboys love to talk about and have plenty to say

on, it’s the critters. We probably spend more time around them beasts than

people. Horses especially, and they can impart wisdom to your life. Ya know

what? A horse ain’t trying to be polite when he comes to a fence and allows

you to go over first!

And when we ain’t got no more stories, the classic one-liner always keeps

us laughing. Try these:

What’s the nearest thing to silver?

The Lone Ranger’s bum.

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle on?

In case he caught any nightMARES!

And my favorite (cause it’s true):

What’s the last thing you hear before a cowboy dies?

“Hey y’all! Watch this!”