Seed Me

If you're reading this, then you did not take the above warning seriously. In that case, you're probably as stupid as me. By the way, I'm Logan. I didn't pay attention to any warning signs either. Being an unemployed deadbeat in Edmonton with no family and getting dumped by your girlfriend for her best friend can wear a guy down. All I had was my cokehead buddy, Skip, to cheer me up.
Surprisingly, my precautionary tale was caused by neither Skip nor the drugs. Let's just say a drunken make-out session with a pale girl by a dumpster, who was supposedly pronounced dead earlier in the evening, can leave you mentally jumbled up. A good motivator to figure this scenario out is having robed cultists stalk you, asking where the girl is.
Is this an ill twist of fate? Did I bring this on myself? Is there a reason for my misfortune? Is the moral to not make out with spooky girls behind dumpsters? Hell if I know...