The Scottish Limerick Book: Filthy Limericks for Every Town in Scotland

Surely it can't be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in Scotland. From the Highlands and Islands to the Scottish Borders, from Whitburn to John o' Groats, The Scottish Limerick Book covers every city, town or village in the country that has a population of 3,000 or more. This unique volume provides the very finest in vulgar humour and gives them all a filthy limerick to call their own.

There are over 250 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy.

The Isle of Skye, Highland

When I was on the Isle of Skye

I overdid the old Spanish fly

I had a stiff member

From the fourth of December

Till Friday the tenth of July

Grangemouth, Falkirk

In Grangemouth there's an oil refinery

A port, a canal and a winery

And to thrill you to bits

All the girls have 10 tits

That is if you count them in binary

Galston, East Ayrshire

At Galston in the Valley of Irvine

I once ate a meal quite unnerving

The sausage gave me a shock

It looked just like my cock

Apart from its more pronounced curving

Beith, North Ayrshire

They staged a biblical play once in Beith

But the costumes were a little too brief

The end of Adam's wang

Did quite clearly hang

Out from under his tiny fig leaf

Larkhall, South Lanarkshire

At the fete in the town of Larkhall

A big hit was my sexual aids stall

Demand was so fantastic

For the vaginas in plastic

It just ended up in a brawl

Bishopton, Rensfrewshire

At a masochists' party in Bishop-ton

Not being one to be easily outdone

When a chap got out his dick

And whacked it with a stick

I got out mine and shot it with a gun