Kitsch Cult

Yes, it is said that rumors grow like hair in unwanted places. But this story is no rumor-not by a curly grey. It is the story of "M"! Of you! Indeed, of us all! [Granted, it is as unwanted!] Now "M" works in the department for educational outreach and recruitment at a non-profit association. But he has a problem: his boss, Jerald Way. Picture a Donald Trump-like character with a yellow-tinctured button down, sweat stains under his arms, a dirty tie, and two large seventies sideburns-flailing in front of power points; and screaming about the ten worst customer service faux pas. Not a pretty picture, is it? At one time, "M" and Jerald were buddies. Oh, yes, indeed! This is more than truth; this is mere fact.... but now... the egotistical association Executive Director has stolen "M"'s customer service outreach trinity model-the customer, customer service agent, and the ombudsman-and accused him of the worst kinds of customer service transgressions. [Every villain needs a scapegoat!] So, "M" must invent a new product to overcome The International Society of Member Service Innovation Professionals' attempts to convince the world that it needs their kitschy expropriation of "M"'s original customer service ideas. To find happiness, clear his [mostly] good name, and-oh, yeh-save the entire world, "M" (dare I say, WE ALL) must overcome the proselytizations of the Kitsch Cult. Go ahead, and pluck that hairy rumor. Pl[f]uck the Kitsch Cult. You know you want to! You know you must! And that is no mere rumor... [Granted, people may gossip.]