2020 Beautiful Unicorn Over the Rainbow 2019-2020 Academic Year Monthly Planner: July 2019 To December 2020 Calendar Schedule Organizer with Inspirational Quotes

THE PERECT READ FOR ANYONE WHO'S A MOM, DAD, OR PLANS ON BEING ONE. Here are some excerpts:

HOW COME THEY NEVER TELL
YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF IN BABY BOOKS ???

So now you know you're pregnant. You've been poked by so many needles... you feel like a human dart board. You're gaining weight faster than a sumo wrestler in training. You retain more water than the rain forest, you can't button your top button. You huff and puff... when walking DOWN stairs. You wet your pants every time you sneeze. You're so bloated that even your FACE has stretch marks, and when you finally remember where you parked your car, you realize you've locked your keys in it again. Here's some advice: don't bother to look for greener pastures... you'll be too tired to climb the fence..

AND THE RUSSIAN JUDGE GIVES A 9.8...

Getting up from furniture is no longer just a "getting up from furniture moment." When pregnant, these movements are referred to as "dismounts."

IT'S A DATE...

A Due Date is not the same thing as an Expiration Date, so don't be surprised if your due date comes and goes and you're still pregnant. Your baby hasn't been pulled from the shelf and returned to the manufacturer... rather your baby's just waiting to see if you send in a TV and an XBox. If you don't... the kid will be out in just a few more days.