Salt Lick, Vol. I: Celebrate Life

SALT LICK,  Vol.  I, Celebrate Life,  by  Dr. Robert A. (Sunny) Brock,  was written to four teenage grandsons, teaching moral chastity and ethical respect and responsibility toward the opposite sex.  Also, written to teach Christian virtues in a Mark Twain style, life-situation novel.  Volume One of this 1835 Historical Christian Romantic Comedy involves eight O'RILEY cousins on a whimsical-lark.  The cousin clan help protagonists ALI O'RILEY and THOMAS O'RILEY celebrate life as the cousins accompany Ali in her quest to visit all five of her paternal uncle's families.  All these first-cousins have never met each other nor their O'Riley kin.  

The misadventure begins with Ali's mother's conniving plan to marry Ali off to the mother's nephew, who will soon graduate West Point, looking for wedding bells on Christmas visit.  Ali, a blithe, headstrong, Irish princess, balks at the proposition of being married at age twenty.  With the aid of her wanderlust father, Ali covertly plans visiting each of his brother's families prior to nuptials.  

The object of using many personalities among the Irish cousin-clan is to present every personality, and combination-personality, on the DISC Personality Scale.  This Pandora's box of kinfolk shows how each reacts differently in every situation.  Each must interact with his peers, both positively and negatively and learn to tolerate and accept one another at face value.  Each must contribute both leadership and servant qualities to the solution of life problems in his own unique way.

 First on Ali's list, is the family of UNCLE WES O'RILEY, married to the cosmopolitan daughterof a French ambassador.  TRUDY O'RILEY, raised among highbrow European culture, had brought unique order to the pastoral community of Glasgow, Kentucky.  This family is both a little-bit country-bumpkin and a little-bit cultured, making for a comical balance of magical homelife.  Since her own childhood had been puritanical and stoic law and order, Ali falls in love with Uncle Wes' laid-back family.   Prior to leaving on the next leg of her journey, showing off her French cooking skills, learned the prior summer at Columbia University cooking school, Ali feeds the family breakfast.  A twisted accident causes her to feed them the famous Flathead Biscuits from Hades, which sets the pace for strange-enough-to-be-true comedy the rest of the book.  For protection and assistance, Wes's oldest son, THOMAS O'RILEY, is appointed to accompany Ali on the rest of her adventure.  These two opposite personalities are least likely to strike up a lasting relationship.  However, they must learn to compliment each other in order to make the adventure a rewarding experience. On the trail to Louisiana, Davy Crockett crosses their path.  Prospects of the 1835 massacre at the Alamo are presented.

Uncle RUFUS O'RILEY's family habitat in the Gulf Coast swamps of Low Down, Louisiana, introduces snakes, alligators and the plight of the American Indian during Andrew Jackson's presidency.  Rufus' second oldest son, ELIJAH, and Thomas go through the rites-of-passage together, slaying the swamp-dragon.  Rufus' older daughter, MAID MARION, and Ali pass through the rites-of-passage, performing one of the oldest female rites known to mankind.  Serious life-situations and decisions are presented and dealt with as Rufus' oldest son, ZAK, saves Thomas and Elijah from the Caddo Indians.  Several sequences clearly illustrate the Christian message as clan members make decisions to rescue each other.  Uncle Rufus, preacher, trapper, intellectual, is invited to preach about Satan at snake-handler cult rituals, presenting swamp dwellers culture.  A cruel practical joke and comical mix-up sets the stage for Thomas and Elijah to get deserved vengence against WINSTON CHANLIN.

A strange turn of events, resulting in Winston's capture by Caddo Indians, provides Elijah opportunity to draw blood and experience the sweet taste of revenge.  However, the plan backfires teaching that revenge is best left to The Guardian of Justice.  The reader must make vicarious decisions relative to forgiveness, mercy and retribution.

Maid, Ali's ally and supportive compliment, and Elijah, Ali's antagonist and source of much aggravation, both join the band of cousins to see the world beyond the swamp.  Ali is to accompany them to school in Columbus, that they might gain some polish and culture necessary for survival in the outside world.  The trip is being financed with the famous, elusive Cortez treasure.  This amount of quality gold poses more problems than solutions.  Each conflict must be dealt with in an ethical manner.  Elijah's laissez-faire attitude presents the irresponsible, aggressive, lustful side of the male psyche which gets the cousin-clan into serious trouble and Ali must deal with him in a firm manner and still keep from losing a passenger from the quest.

The trek from Houston to San Antonio finds the clan involved in a robbery and the Alamo massacre.  At Uncle LINCOLN O'RILEY's ranch, they receive his ranch-hand twins, ROWDY and HOWDY, into the adventure.  These young ranchers accompany the cousin band on a hilarious cattle drive, including tornadoes and floods and introduces SHORTY, an enigma among longhorn cattle.  Returning from the cattle drive, Uncle Lincoln changes the direction of the quest, sending the cousins to Boston to find the twins' mother.  A short travel log of Eastern Seaboard states and cities follows.  By default, the cousins love for Ireland's celebration of life, the Irish jig, propels the clan into the limelight, entertaining in swank hotel ballrooms.  A detour around the bay leads them to the Capitol grounds in D.C.  Elijah climbs the infamous fruit-of-the-gods pear tree for a snack.  This brings about a chance meeting with lame-duck President Andrew Jackson and an invitation to the Tejas Territory and Indian Affairs Committee working-supper to rehearse their assessment of Indian problems in the south and first-hand witness of the Alamo fiasco.  On to Philadelphia and Atlantic City where Howdy wins acclaim for catching the largest marlin in the world and the boys help Atlantic City Athletic Club win the annual soccer match against Scranton, PA.  At this match a new cousin, RYAN O'RILEY, Uncle Stanley's only son, a sanguine, grandiose athletic, teddy bear is introduced into the travel plans.

The next visit is New York where Elijah puts most all his eggs in one basket, investing in the shoe-boot trade, inventing the new Elijah predecessor to the military brogan.  The dress-work, Elijah muscle-boot puts the company on top shelf of the foot-fashion industry.  Then, off to the immigration office on the docks to search for possible cousins in the area.  An orphan cousin, SCARLET  O'RILEY, is traced to an orphanage.  They find she has just shipped-out on an orphan-train to be sold as a laborer.  A mad dash results in their stopping the train and buying adoption of Scarlet and her little friend PATULAH.  In Old City New York church, Elijah is adopted as temporary pastor.  A complicated murder, burial and exhumation involves the whole band of O'Riley cousins, and a new character, BUCKEYE, and his slave family are brought into the story as the result of a botched hanging.  

The troupe accompany Cousin Ryan to Buffalo, New York.  Ryan enters the Annual Foresters Fair log-races and abandons the contest to rescue a floundering youth.  This marks the beginning of Ryan's search for spiritual renewal.  Ali, with help of sister-cousins, becomes star of the fair, winning the infamous Buffalo pig race. Ali's stoic mother, who has been following the clan children via