Didactic Essays: From a piece of dark matter, somewhere in the Milky Way?

How you-all doing?! When I say words, you say definitions! Words…(Silence) I can’t hear you! Words…(Crickets). Wow, tough crowd. Have you ever noticed that the universe is arranged as a spectrum of battery systems? (Silence and cough) So did you guys here the one about the electron that walked into a bar so that it could see the bar? (Silence) You know, an electron doesn’t release photons unless it is stimulated. Get it? (Frog – Robot, Rooooobots) What? Can’t a brother get a heckler up in this hizzy? (Silence) Did someone ask a what-what is this book about? (Silence) Seriously, I throw a what-what out there and nothing? (Silence) Fine, I’ll just talk about the contents of this book. There are a lot of words, a couple sentences, two or more paragraphs, some science, a whole-lot of scientific satire, a few meaningless definitions, and some New Age Adages. Are you happy now? Peace Out! (A microphone drops to the floor.)