The Ghastly Greek Gods: Classical Mythology You'll Actually Want to Read!

Do not read this beastly book!
Do not read this horrible, untrue book! It's lies-all lies! Nothing you read in this book actually happened! It's been written without my consent, and it's just a vile attack on me and my colleagues!
I am the greatest god that ever existed! I'm the CEO of Mount Olympus and the most dignified, elegant deity that ever lived!
These stories are just worthless tripe spread by one of my jealous inferiors. And when I track down whoever it is that is profaning my holy name, by crikey mate, they're going to get it!
I'm sure you completely understand why you need to destroy this foul piece of fabrication right now!
Don't even open the cover! Biff it on the bonfire, chuck it down the dunny!
Be quick, mate, I've been worshiped for thousands of years. I've worked hard at my career, and I'm blimmin' well not going to let some cheap lying tabloid take me down!
Regards,
Zeus
CEO of Mount Olympus, Supreme God of the Universe