Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship

A noted psychotherapist examines the critical role same-sex friendships play in helping men navigate an increasingly demanding world.
 
For much of the past century, men have operated under the rules of Male Code, a rigid set of rules guiding their behavior that equate masculinity with stoicism, silence, and strength. Over the past few decades, as society has experienced seismic economic and societal shifts that have forced men to take on new roles within their families and relationships, this lack of emotional skills has wreaked havoc on men’s lives. In attempting to reconcile traditional views of masculinity with the modern call to step up as fathers, husbands, and sons, men are increasingly likely to suffer from depression, anger, and feelings of isolation, and, because they have not learned how to communicate or express their emotions effectively, they are unable to connect with others—spouses, children, and friends—who could provide support.
 
Rob Garfield has worked with men struggling with emotional issues for more than twenty years. In his groundbreaking “Friendship Labs,” clinical settings in which men engage in group therapy, he teaches men how to identify inner conflicts, express emotions, and communicate openly. According to Garfield, traditional therapy has largely marginalized men since they lack the tools to properly engage. But when men learn to open up to other men who share similar experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives, they not only build lasting bonds but learn the skills necessary to thrive in all aspects of their lives.
 
In this important and timely book, Garfield examines the unique challenges men face and urges them to abandon male code in favor of a masculinity that embraces male traits while championing emotional skills. He urges men to deepen their relationships with other men and shows how these relationships can help them in all areas of their lives. He also offers a step-by-step guide to initiating and deepening these relationships using the Four C’s of intimacy—connection, communication, commitment, and co-operation.