WINSLOW STUMPMIER, GIRL SCIENTIST

Everything is going along fine, I'm living life as an average fifth grade kid, when all of a sudden my life takes a nosedive into the sanitary facilities. (You know, what I mean, the crapper. My mom won't let me use that word. She says it's vulgar.) Nerdy Winslow Stumpmier, Girl Scientist, moves into town and my mother, who is the principal at my school, forces me to become her new best friend, completely ruining any chance I have of getting in with the popular girls.

About the same time, my mother finds out that Mr. Baxter is trying to steal her job. He's a principal too and he wants to move back to Michigan. So he tells everybody he could get a computer in every classroom if he were the principal.

Funny thing is, there is a science contest going on and the prize is ten thousand dollars. And it just so happens that Winslow is building a robot and she offers to enter the robot, win the money and buy the computers so my mom won't lose her job. The trouble is she needs her father's help and he's a famous archaeologist and he's been gone for a year and he's so busy he barely even talks to her on the phone. So I concoct a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself, to get him to pay attention to her.

Will my plan work? Will Winslow win the contest?