The Adventures of Reztap

Even simple plans never quite work out for intergalactic trader Tar Reztap, and yet he and his loyal friend Gorth keep finding their way into crazy missions that border the impossible. Chased throughout known space aboard the Bloated Namreg (quite possibly the ugliest ship to ever dock in a space port), it's not long before Reztap's nemesis catches up. And it's not the captain of the Progorian warship (really, it was an honest mix-up that started that war); nor the Madame of the Courtesan Academy, who happens to be half-sister to the head of the assassin's guild. No, real trouble requires blood ties. Reztap's brother sends the traders spinning back into space on a mission to rescue a princess from a fortress on Alaga One's moon.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Reztap and Gorth are forced to pull out their back-up navigator-an eccentric android named Chuck, who has a thing for decorating (and "Rezzy"). Aboard the Namreg, a door that couldn't be opened for thirteen years mysteriously grants entrance to a hidden chamber. Inside is a treasure, a long-lost family member, and a mission no one has to force Reztap to do. But this time, he can't fail. Regretfully, the "rescued" Princess Slurk is still on board, with plans of her own.

"Built on a classic rescue story plot, Withers' story proceeds to slay all the sacred cows of science fiction, but does it with such humor, such style, that even a hardened fan can't help but laugh along. The Adventures of Reztap has got the humor of Douglas Adams, the snappy dialogue of Firefly, and all the moral slipperiness of the Stainless Steel Rat, but it is a unique and wonderful story all its own. This is the good stuff!"
Joe McKinney, author of the Dead City book series