Sweat Bombs Charlie

Sweat Bombs Charlie is a treasure trove of clever riddles and anecdotes. It's a funny and entertaining book for all the family to enjoy, with 249 original short poems and limericks.

Sophie-Harding-Stamford-Slosh

Sophie-Harding-Stamford-Slosh

Has a Four-Barrelled name she's quite posh

She tells everyone she's upper class

But we all know she's a Barnsley lass

Blister

I'll fix that blister said Uncle Tim

As he stuck the pin right through my skin

Two days later it was red and sore

And now it hurts even more

Rugby Years

When I look back at my rugby years

My broken nose my cauliflower ears

My aching joints my pounding head

I wish I'd done something else instead

Jimmy The Whistle

Jimmy The Whistle is blown all day

At The Haggis & Thistle on the 12th of May

Occasionally he stops to eat and drink

And to flush all the spit down the sink

Blind as A Bat

There once was a lonely old cat

Who was shy and blind as a bat

He was desperate for a date

And went looking for a mate

But ended up with Ronnie the Rat

Monk

There once was a Japanese monk

Who slept with a Siamese skunk

In the middle of the night

There was an almighty fight

All you heard was Klink Klank Klunk

Brent

There once was a sausage called Brent

Who was sizzling in the pan quite content

Then out of the blue

An egg named sue

Came crashing down without his consent

Vain Man

There once was a very vain man

Who covered himself in fake tan

When the poor old fellow

Turned bright yellow

His image went right down the pan

Snips

There once was a seagull called snips

Who attacked Mr Murray for his chips

But clever Mr Murray

Soaked his chips in curry

Now the seagull is off sick with the shits

Egg

A posh egg that was nurtured and spoiled

Didn't want to be fried or hard boiled

He drew up a plan

To coerce with the flan

They were caught and the plan was tin foiled

Teddy

There once was a hoover called Teddy

Who was all plugged in and ready

But when his wheels buckled

Everyone chuckled

When you pushed him he was rather unsteady

Fatter

This dog's getting fatter and fatter

The vet said it's no laughing matter

He stopped all the treats

All the tit-bits and meats

Now the dog is as mad as a hatter

Greengrocer

A greengrocer called Barnaby Rudd

Didn't know that a potato was a spud

He was forced to concede

That a turnip wasn't a swede

He was confused and misunderstood

Sam

There once was a fly called Sam

Who got stuck in a pot of jam

He was tougher than most

But got spread on toast

And was eaten by a fat hungry man

Tiger

An old timid tiger from Harrow

Would shake at the site of a sparrow

His friends laughed with glee

As he shot up the tree

They thought he was weak and quite shallow

No Cash

I'll have beans on toast with an egg on top

A tea with two sugars and a can of pop

A jar of Vaseline to put on my rash

And stick it on my tab cos I have no cash

Wig

People laugh at Daddy's wig

It moves when he puffs on his cig

He should stick it down with tape or glue

Mum said Daddy doesn't have a clue

Teeth

I can't find my teeth said Grandad Pete

I can't chomp my chips or chew my meat

When did you last see them? asked Mr Frost

Well if I knew that they wouldn't be lost

Sticky Jam

The sticky Jam is everywhere

All over my face and in my hair

Don't you worry said Mrs Trough

My greedy cat will lick it off