Diary of a Barking Mad Dog Owner

Due to his obsession with the hedgehog, Mr Mac was lead-walked

in the garden first thing in the morning before the sun was quite up

and as soon as it was dusk, when hedgehogs are likely to be around

searching for food. Thus, you can imagine how mad I was when I

arrived home from work on Friday, drove towards my gate and saw this

half-flat, brown, spiky lump in the middle of the road.

"Arrrgggghhhh!" I shouted at it, "you stupid, stupid hedgehog!"

I parked my car in the drive and stomped back up the road. I was still

shaking my head and ranting, "How could you be so stupid? After my

efforts to keep you safe all summer and you go and run out in front of

a car in broad daylight."

I reached the little spiky brown lump and stared at it as if I was hoping

for an answer to my questions about its stupidity. Then a big smile

spread across my face and I looked round sheepishly, hoping that noone

had witnessed or heard my outburst. The little spiky brown lump

was left on the road by a horse.