Santa Walks Into a Bar: Christmas Jokes with an Edge

A collection of hilarious Christmas jokes for the discerning adult. Not your average joke book; these have an edge!

Santa was having a bad day. Mrs Claus was nagging. The elves were working too slowly. There were serious toy assembly issues. Rudolf was getting old and stodgy and the sleigh needed repairs. In the midst of all this a shimmering angel arrived one evening with a lovely tree. As Claus answered the door, frowning and muttering, the angel smiled and said "Merry Christmas, Santa! Here's your tree. Where do you want me to stick it?"

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
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Girl 1: Where’s your Christmas party at?
Girl 2: It’s poor grammar to end your sentence with a preposition.
Girl 1: All right then, where’s your Christmas party at, bitch?