ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior

Ever wonder how to brainwash your infant so he doesn't grow up to root, root, root for a rival team? How to goad a basketball player into missing a crucial free throw? How to tear down a goalpost? Do you know the ABCs of body paint? If not, fear not: Warren St. John has recruited an all-star team of fanatics to help you help your team.

Guaranteed to raise your performance to a truly insane level, ESPN Guide to Psycho Fan Behavior is packed with professional tips, informative illustrations, and real-life "fanecdotes." Learn how to kidnap a mascot, the best way to swipe a home-run ball from a bleacher bum, and how to keep running after getting Tasered. With sideline reporting and expert analysis from CollegeHumor.com writers Amir Blumenfeld and Ethan Trex, and from Spencer Hall — who writes the blog Every Day Should Be Saturday under the name Orson Swindle — this one-of-a-kind survival manual is the surest way to guarantee that you excel in every game situation: home or away, rain or shine, front row or nosebleed seats.