Addicted to an Addict

This is the true story of my very first love. A story about love found, love lost and love found again only to be taken away by Heroin addiction. Not mine, but the man I loved. Within these pages I lay bare my personal battle with codependency. These pages are filled with tears and sorrow, sunshine and hope, about facing the ugly truth about addiction and how it affected me personally. To love an addict is to run out of tears. Eventually, I couldn't cry anymore and come to realize to truly love something you must be willing to let it go. This is my story about letting go.

For 27 years I kept a sweater belonging to my first love. He gave it to me the night of our first kiss and it became my security blanket. It was more than just a piece of clothing but something symbolic, a piece of my history and a fantasy I have held tightly to for so very long. The weight of that sweater has weighed on me too long. It is time to move on.

With my head in the clouds and my feet walking on air, I tripped over his needles and fell into such a depression you cannot imagine. Guilt and misgivings battled within me. As I have grown emotionally, I have learned to release the guilt, love myself and accept reality for what it is. I cannot save anyone except myself. I share my story in hopes that one day someone will read it and feel less alone with their own struggles.