Making the Bible Great Again: The Gospel of Trump

50 Bible passages are reimagined as speeches or rants barfed up by moron-in-chief President Donald J. Trump! Hilarious! Great! Greater! The Greaterest!

For instance, THE CREATION OF THE WORLD:

First I made the world and it was really great. So great. And huge. It was the first huge round thing anyone had ever made.

I took the bad hombres from the sky and made so much light. Lights on! I said, and the sky did what I said.

I made the Trump water. Perfect water. Hydrogen, oxygen, the whole thing. It's for sale everywhere.

I took the ugly fat women who accuse me of huge unbelievable lies and I made them into rhinos.

I made the first woman my daughter Ivanka. Isn't she beautiful? I gave her great legs. I love legs on a woman.

I was the first man. The first great man.

I am still the first great man.